I have a garden. I like vegetables, a lot. I like fresh vegetables, especially greens, a tremendous amount. I like to be outside. I reside in Santa Barbara where the weather is sunny and 70 most of the year.
Yet my garden is dry, over grown and resembles, well, a garden that has been neglected for years.
To be honest, it’s been a decade.
For my 40th birthday a friend overhauled my garden spending an entire weekend giving it life with love, time and attention. She tended to the soil. She planted seeds with a plan.
Since then, well, it has not received much, if any, TLC.
As much as I’d love a lush, vital, producing garden I could waltz out to and snip fresh herbs, pluck a ripe tomato and gather a handful of greens… it just isn’t my reality, right now it just doesn’t matter to me.
Let’s say next week, after my work travel, I wake up and walk out to my garden, look at it’s sad state and decide I really do want herbs to snip, a tomato to pluck or greens to gather.
I’d declare in detail, describing what I wanted. I say it to my garden. I’d describe the different colors of tomatoes I’d like, the variety of herbs…some basil, thyme, cilantro and parsley.. the Italian kind. I’d describe where I thought it should grow each vegetable and smile and wink every time. I’d be kind, cute and charismatic. Exquisitely pleasant.
The next day I’d wake up excited to see my lush garden and all its beauty. As my eyes landed on the garden boxes, dry and overgrown, I’d feel confused. How could this be?
I was kind. I was descriptive. I was lovely…
Now with unmet expectations I could continue to declare what I wanted.
I could continue to be articulate, witty, and immensely convincing in my description to the garden about what I wanted from it. I could also threaten the garden that I’d take it out if it didn’t give it me. I could add volume. Maybe say my threats in a loud tone so it KNOWS I mean business.
I could read books about photosynthesis and use that undergrad chemistry degree to describe the biochemical reactions that needed to occur.
I could even borrow my daughter’s large white board to write the EXACT process for what the garden was suppose to do to give me a lush garden. Knowing me, I’d used a variety of dry erase colors to make my wants more graphically appealing, Each day, I’d walk out to my garden and declare my case for what I wanted.
And every morning I woke up to see a neglected garden I’d be left to judge why MY efforts weren’t effective.
It doesn’t mean I don’t want a lush garden. It doesn’t mean it’s not important to me to have fresh veggies to eat. It doesn’t mean I’d rather look at a neglected garden.
It just means how I was going about it wasn’t working.
Now let’s look at it a bit differently. Let’s say I wake up next week and a lush garden is something I’d like to nurture to develop. Next week I wake up and having a lush garden matters.
Now I’ve been a not-green thumb my entire life. To be clear, this doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. I know green things need water. I also know, from first hand experience, green things can also be overwatered.
Soil health, what grows when, how long it typically takes to produce results, and how much to water is a knowing I do not hold at this time. I could search the internet for answers, read a book… I think my son has a few in his room… I could even ask my son. He spent ages 6-9 growing our garden, so he knows more than I. I also have a few friends who are successful with their home gardens, I could ask them as well. I have a farm near my house that has a stand at our local farmers market, so I could go ask them as well. I am surrounded by resources.
Once having a lush garden matters, I’d locate whatever resources I felt I needed. Obstacles or setbacks would not be interpreted as barriers or burdens but puzzle pieces to fit together.
Once something matters, I don’t look for reasons to stop. I look ahead with a knowing that time, distance, and setbacks will not keep me from it and I will continue to demonstrate it matters to me.
If one day I decide having a lush garden matters, knowing myself, I’d probably hire a garden coach. It is one reason I am a coach for others, I value the authority and expertise coaches provide.
My Friday sunrise swims matter to me and they have for several years.
This week it wasn’t easy to figure out… a late flight, a rental car and a lost cabin key had me sleep last night curled up in the back seat of my rental car under a sweater and puffy wearing my beanie.
I was chilled to the bone BEFORE I went into this cold water.
But like I said, my Friday sunrise swims matter.
So the question to ask yourself is, what matters to you?
Look at the areas where obstacles really aren’t a thing, areas you’d move mountains to keep on about.
Look at how you engage there and show up fully for what you want.
Perhaps there is an area where you are ready to say, THIS matters.
Now go be your wild self and nurture that to develop in your life!
happy fridaying….
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