Cozy and perfectly warm I laid in bed this morning under covers with not 1 but 2 extra blankets to counter the 50 degrees of my sleeping environment. A chalet warmed by a wood stove I did not make before bed.
Just skip it.
The divergent temperatures of under the covers to out of the covers to my car removed the pathway of easy for my last Friday sunrise swim of 2022.
Just skip it.
My alarm went off and that is when the questioning began…
Go to the hot springs instead of the frigid lake.
Just skip it.
Do it tomorrow in Santa Barbara.
Just skip it.
There isn’t enough time after the swim to get ready to go ski today.
Just skip it.
I pulled the covers higher after selecting snooze.
Just skip it.
I’d left my swimsuit in the car overnight so it was surely frozen still wrapped in my wet towel from jacuzzi soaking with a girlfriend while sipping whiskey mules under the stars of the Eastern Sierra last night.
Just skip it.
This Friday sunrise swim ritual has taught me why separating discomfort in my body away from the story in my mind is magic for what I want in my life.
Just skip it.
It has changed the way I engage in the difficult, inviting more pause and curiosity around highly conditioned imagined fears.
Just skip it.
Not the difficult like climbing a mountain, running an ultra marathon, or persevering some calculated physical endeavor. Rather it’s when my internal darkness takes over my breathing and insecurities are given the megaphone. When my world feels like it is spinning and a way out has anything resembling a clear path.
Just skip it.
In the cold water, surrounded by the beauty of nature, using my breath to regulate back to my ok-ness is something I’ve done again and again and again and again. It has intention with a deeply meditative quality. The outcome is restoration in my subconscious that I am able to separate out the instant of overwhelm and all threat systems activated as though I was being abandoned and needed to act with absolute urgency to survive. If vulnerable I will die is familiar messaging stored into my cells from experiences in my first years of life. This is not driven by thought but the somatic screams flipping the light switch in my mind.
Just skip it.
The winds howl as the storm approaches. I walk an icy path to the lake’s edge with my body wrapped only in a towel. The rough mountain lake waters push my body this way and then another. I find it challenging to navigate the slippery rocks. I slip into a deep pool to my right and come out of the water gasping for a breath.
Just skip it.
I ask myself, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Just skip it.
I desire to find my calm among this hectic environment and I wade further into the lake before I begin to take slow strokes.
I invite trust. Again and again.
I use my breath.
Here. Right now. I am ok right now.
I breath. I exist. I look at the beauty around me.
I assimilate. I calm.
Hands down the most sporty cold water swim to finish off a very sporty year!!!
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